


There was you, there was me

by phanjessmagoria



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Drug Use, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7008643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanjessmagoria/pseuds/phanjessmagoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The weirdest thing about it, other than the fact that he was kissing the boy who had been his best friend for basically their entire lives, was that it wasn’t weird. Not really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There was you, there was me

“Do you know, Luke wants me to invite his entire class this year, as well as his kindergarten class, to his birthday party?” Liz asked, shaking her head and sipping from the paper coffee cup she was holding. She looked over at Anne Marie, who was holding a similar cup in her hands.

“Ashton was the same way when he moved into Year 1,” she said, nodding. The two of them tried to meet as often as they could for coffee, but with the children getting older it wasn’t as easy now, with work and school commitments and family plans. “They get so attached.”

“He wants quite a party this year, too,” Liz continued as though Anne Marie hadn’t even spoken. “Power Rangers,” she said, though she couldn’t help but smile. Ben and Jack had liked them when they were younger, and once Luke found out that his elder brothers liked something, he automatically liked it too.

“Really?” Anne Marie asked, leaning a bit further over the café table. “So does Ashton.”

“How funny,” Liz said, laughing a little to herself. “Well, why don’t we just have one big party for both of them, then? Their birthdays are so close, anyway.”

Anne Marie considered it, shrugging one shoulder. “I’m sure Ashton would love that. He just adores Luke.”

Liz smiled and nodded, taking another sip of her coffee before checking the time on her wristwatch. “Oh, damn,” she said, turning sideways in her seat before continuing. “I’ve got to go pick up Jack, and the boys will be expecting me home soon.” She picked up her purse from where it was hanging by the strap over the back of her chair. Anne Marie stood up as well to give Liz hug and kiss goodbye, walking outside with her.

“I’ll call you tomorrow for some party planning,” Liz said, heading toward her car; Anne Marie’s was the opposite direction.

“Talk to you then,” Anne Marie answered, giving Liz a wave and then turning her back, walking away.

A joint birthday party would be much easier, she reasoned, for both of them.

–

What neither Anne Marie nor Liz had counted on, though, was just how much Ashton and Luke enjoyed having their birthdays together. They’d both been born in the dead of winter, and Ashton never let his mother forget it—sometimes he seemed more excited about Luke’s birthday than his own, since it was just a little over a week after his.

Jack and Ben, Luke’s older brothers, were friendly enough. But they were a few years older than Ashton, already nearly finished with primary school when Ashton was just beginning kindergarten. They liked the kid across the street—it was just that they were too old to play with him.

That didn’t matter—Ashton had found his first best friend in Luke. He was a year older, but that didn’t bother either of them. They still shared many of the same interests and would play together constantly; they would either explore Ashton’s backyard, baseball caps on and bug nets in hand, or try to play with the basketball hoop Ben had gotten for his birthday one year. They were both so short when they were kids they could hardly reach the net, even when they threw with all their might.

The Power Ranger party looked like it was going to be a success, even though there were more children attending there than either Luke or Ashton’s parents knew what to do with. The party was on Luke’s actual birthday, because it fell on a weekend, so Ashton had already been 7 for an entire nine days before the party. He couldn’t have cared less—his mum told him that they’d gotten the Red _and_ Yellow Rangers to come to the party. He was going to get to learn karate right from the experts. It was going to be the best birthday he’d ever had, _and_ he got to spend it with Luke.

And really, the two of them did have more fun than they could ever remember at a birthday party before, and their parents noticed. It was starting to get dark and chilly as the guests all left, each snagging a party favor on the way out, each little colorful bag stuffed with candy, confetti, and a small dinosaur toy, which was as close to the actual Power Ranger creatures as Ashton’s mum could find.

Anne Marie watched a little girl from Ashton’s class, and a little boy from Luke’s, pretending to battle their dinosaurs against each other as they walked out with their parents, each of them roaring as they went. Liz joined her after a moment, watching the children and their parents trail out of the yard, some walking to homes not too far away, others getting into cars and driving home.

“That was fun,” Liz said before looking down at Jack and Ben, who had appeared at her side. Before either of them could even open his mouth, she rolled her eyes. “Yes, you can go home. My keys are in my bag—don’t leave them in the door like last time!” she called after them. “Put them on the table!” She shook her head as the two of them disappeared into the slowly deepening twilight, running across Anne Marie’s lawn, sneakers clapping loudly on the pavement as they crossed the street.

“It was fun,” Anne Marie agreed, once Liz turned back to her.

“We should make this a yearly tradition,” Liz said, as Luke and Ashton came into view, running after each other and laughing. Ashton was wearing a Yellow Ranger mask, holding a huge, sabre-toothed tiger plush animal. Luke was decked out in a Red Ranger costume, clutching his tyrannosaurus rex plush to his chest. Luke was practically shrieking with laughter as Ashton chased him, until he finally stopped and held out the T-rex, smacking it into Ashton’s tiger.

“I think so,” came Anne Marie’s reply, as the few remaining party guests joined in with Ashton and Luke, each picking a side and cheering their choice on.

–

Surprisingly, the tradition stuck. Near the end of fall, the next year, Liz rang Anne Marie.

"Luke told me he wants a Pokémon party this year," she said. "Do you think Ashton would like that?"

Anne Marie had no actual idea, but she brought the idea up to Ashton, who told her that he didn't know if he liked Pokémon enough to have it as his birthday party theme, but after some persuading by his mum, which didn't even take that long once she brought up that he would be able to celebrate with Luke, Ashton finally agreed.

_ && _

The year that Ashton turned 10, Luke insisted that they go bowling. His dad had brought him and his brothers once, and even though Luke still had to play with the bumpers, he was absolutely in love with the game. He wasn't very good at it, but he just had to practice to get better; that was what Ben had told him.

Ashton agreed to the bowling party, as long as it meant he got to pick the next year's theme. Luke, happy that he was getting what he wanted right now, said that was fair. All he really cared about was instant gratification—he was only going to be 9, after all.

_ && _

The next year, Luke had completely forgotten about the reason Ashton had gone along with the bowling birthday party, but Liz caught Luke one morning before school, telling him that Ashton's mum had let her know Ashton had chosen a theme for the party: laser tag. Luke's stomach flipped—he'd already decided that he wanted to have a small party this year. "Just some close family and friends," was how he was going to pose it to his mother.

"But Mum," Luke said, sliding off of his bed before he'd even had a chance to tie his shoelaces. Of course she had interrupted him in the middle of getting ready for school.

"Luke, Ashton's mum told me that you two had decided that Ashton would pick the party this year. He said you've chosen the last few. It's his turn, sweetie," Liz said.

Luke bit his lip; he knew that was true, and now that she had told him that he and Ashton had already discussed this, it did sound familiar, even though Luke had no idea why he would give up the power of choosing the theme. He was just so good at picking.

"All right," he said. "I want to pick next year, though."

"I think you would need to speak to Ashton about that," Liz said, nodding toward Luke's feet. "Don't forget your laces, baby."

"Thanks, Mum," Luke said, kneeling down to tie his shoes before sprinting out the door to be sure he was dropped to school on time.

_ && _

The next year, Ashton was going to be turning 12, and he knew what he wanted to do for the joint party. He just had to convince Luke that he wanted it too, or maybe, if he was really clever, even get Luke to think it was his idea.

He began his approach just after term began in April—he wasn't sure how much time he would need, or how open Luke would be to Ashton picking the party theme two years in a row, which was something Luke had never had a problem doing himself. First, he begged his mum to bring him go-karting with Luke, Ben, and Jack. He hoped that this would give Luke some incentive to maybe go along with Ashton suggesting go-karts as their birthday party.

Anne Marie wasn’t entire sure that she thought go-karts were safe, especially for children Luke’s age, but Liz didn’t have a problem with it (“Jack and Ben have been going for years,” Liz had said, and Ashton considered this another point in his favor), so Anne Marie packed the four of them in her car and they set off.

Ashton couldn’t have had any idea how much Luke would have loved driving around in his own little kart—he was beyond thrilled that he hadn’t had to share with Jack or Ben like he did whenever they went to a fair that had bumper cars—but he was glad to see how ecstatic Luke was after they disembarked the little track. It really couldn’t have gone better—Luke fell into step beside Ashton and nudged him with his elbow.

“We should do go-karts this year,” Luke said, and Ashton grinned.

–

If Ashton had to share another of his birthday parties with Luke, he was going to scream.

They’d been having joint birthday parties for six years. Six years, including go-karts and Pokémon and one year where Luke had insisted that they go bowling, but now that Ashton was going to be turning 13— _a teenager_ —he didn’t want to have to share the spotlight anymore. He couldn’t have a party with a kid.

“Mum,” Ashton said one morning, padding down the hallway to the kitchen, where she was making breakfast.

“Yes?” Anne Marie asked, barely glancing over her shoulder as she ladled pancake batter into a pan.

“I know what I want to do for my birthday this year,” he said, sitting down at the table.

“Isn’t it Luke’s turn to pick?” she asked, shifting her weight and watching for bubbles in the uncooked side of the pancake.

“Well that’s...actually part of it,” Ashton said, not looking up from where his hands were folded on the table, even though he didn’t know if she would actually turn around to look at him. “I just want my own party this year.”

“You what?” she asked, turning to look at him, spatula in one hand, brow furrowed. “But you and Luke love to have your parties together.”

“I used to,” Ashton said, suppressing an eyeroll. “I’m going to be _thirteen_ this year. It’s really important. I need to have my own party, without Luke.” He thought about adding something like “I’m a man now,” but decided against it. He could keep that for later, just in case.

Anne Marie sighed and turned back to the stove, flipping the pancake over and turning back to her son. “Well, I’m not going to tell Liz for you. You can tell Luke.”

Ashton opened his mouth to protest, but Anne Marie shook the spatula at him.

“No, no, young man,” she said, voice a touch stern. “Your decision, you break the news.”

He really, really didn’t want to, because he knew Luke would be upset, but after breakfast, Ashton put on his sneakers and headed across the street to Luke’s house.

Liz was overly cheerful when she answered the door, and Ashton wondered if maybe his own mum had warned her that he was coming to devastate Luke, and she was trying to lull him into a false sense of security or make him feel really guilty. It was working a little.

“Hello Ashton,” Liz greeted him, stepping back from the door and letting him walk inside. “Come for some birthday planning? It’s getting close—July is right around the corner.”

Ashton just smiled a little, and nodded, trying to keep things as vague as possible. Liz seemed to notice. She took a deep breath and sighed, nodding herself, and then went on.

“Well, I think Luke and Ben were playing a game, so you can head right on into his room.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Hemmings,” Ashton said, practically scampering past her upstairs to Luke’s room. Ben was there, an XBox controller in his hand, but once he saw Ashton in the doorway, he paused the game and stood up from where he’d been reclining on the floor.

“Later, Luke,” Ben said, grinning down at his brother, still on the floor. Ashton was immensely grateful—Luke was going to be upset enough that Ashton was nixing their joint birthdays. He didn’t need any witnesses.

“Hey, Ashy,” Luke said absently, reaching for the controller Ben left behind and holding it up for Ashton to take.

“Hey, Luke,” Ashton replied, mostly because he had to. He liked Luke—of course he did, they were best friends—but he didn’t think it was so terrible to have separate birthday parties. They were both growing up, both much more mature than in years past (or...at least, Ashton was, since he no longer actually went by the childish nickname “Ashy,” despite his protestations to Luke).

Luke looked over when Ashton didn’t take the game controller from him. “Here,” he said, like maybe Ashton had somehow missed him waving it around.

“I actually just wanted to tell you something,” Ashton said, and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He really didn’t want to do this, which maybe should have told him that he _shouldn’t_ do it, but he did it anyway.

“Ok,” Luke said, looking up at Ashton, but Ashton spoke over his word of affirmation.

“I’m having my own birthday party this year,” Ashton blurted out, and as soon as he said it, Luke’s face fell. He looked like he almost didn’t believe that Ashton meant it.

“What?” Luke asked, shifting a little to look up at Ashton.

“I’m taking my friends to paintball,” Ashton said. “From my class.” He paused. “Just my friends from my class.”

It took a moment for it to sink in, for Luke to understand what Ashton really meant, but when it hit him, it hit him hard. _Ashton wasn’t inviting him._

“Oh,” Luke said, bucking up and trying to seem nonchalant, like it didn’t bother him. He turned back to the game and unpaused it, continuing to play even though Ben’s character wasn’t moving at all. “Ok, that’s cool. I mean, that actually works out better, because I had all these really cool ideas for a solo party, actually I’ve had these ideas for years now, but I could never do them because, like, you always wanted to have joint parties, so this really works out well for me. Really well. Wow, I’m so relieved.” He laughed a little, but there was no humor in it. Even Ashton couldn’t miss it.

But he decided it would be easier to. “Cool,” Ashton said. “I’ll see you later then.”

And when Luke looked back up from the TV, he was gone.

–

“Are you seriously never going to let me live that shit down?” Ashton asked, laughing, flicking at some grains of sand on the beach towel beneath him.

“You broke my heart,” Luke said, ignoring Michael as he laughed, flipping the cap off of a bottle of beer.

“You got over it,” Ashton said, holding out his hand for the bottle Michael had just uncapped.

“Get your own, asshole,” he said before laughing, then offering the bottle to him anyway. “No wonder you befriended me, Luke. Ashton is a douchebag.”

Ashton flipped Michael off, but took a swig of his beer, chuckling a little after. “I said I was sorry like, the next day.”

“You mean the next day, after your party, which I was not invited to,” Luke said. He wasn’t actually bitter anymore—but at the time, he really had been.

“You know, you keep bringing this up, and it’s making it really seem like you’re still upset,” Ashton said. He ignored Michael’s snickering as he went about uncapping a bottle of beer for Luke.

“I’m not upset,” Luke said, taking the bottle Michael had set aside for himself. Michael scoffed, but just kept the third bottle for his own. “I’m just saying that I totally have every right to be, because _you_ didn’t come to _my_ party, and I _did_ invite you.”

“It was four years ago, Luke, and we’re still super best friends,” Ashton said, lifting the beer bottle to his mouth again.

“Super best friends,” Michael repeated under his breath, snickering a little, quietly.

“Don’t be jealous you haven’t achieved that title yet, Michael,” Luke said, looking over at him. Michael shrugged in response.

“You two let me tag along on your super best friend beach adventures, so,” Michael said. He cradled his bottle in his hands, looking out at the black sea, only the moon reflected in its surface. The roar of the water was loud, but they’d been sitting out on the beach for so long it had faded to background noise.

“True,” Ashton said, taking a third sip from his bottle, then shoving it into the sand beside his towel and lying flat on his back. They hadn’t come to the beach to swim or surf or do anything other than sit on the sand and look out at the horizon, completely indiscernible from the night sky.

“What should we do this year?” Luke asked.

“House party,” Michael suggested before Ashton even had a chance.

“You think?” Luke said, incredulous. “At whose house?”

“Anyone’s house,” Michael answered. “You’re gonna be 16. Ash is turning 17. You gotta do something big before it’s too late.”

“You’re making it sound like I’m dying, Michael, Jesus,” Ashton said, but he didn’t sound perturbed. He just folded his hands beneath his head and crossed his legs at the ankle. He was beyond relaxed, looking for patterns above them in the stars.

“You’re leaving for uni,” Luke said. “You’re moving out. _With Calum._ Who knows when we’ll see you again?”

“All the time?” Ashton said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll come home like, every weekend. Newcastle isn’t that far away. And, need I remind you, I haven’t even gotten in yet? My exams are months away.”

“Right,” Michael said, glancing at Luke, but missing how worried and uncomfortable he looked. “He’ll fail everything and then we won’t have to worry about him leaving for another year.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence,” Ashton said, voice flat. He didn’t really mind, but it seemed like every time his leaving for uni came up, Luke got really withdrawn. Ashton wasn’t sure what to make of it, but it was kind of bothering him now. Luke was his best friend—but if Luke was in his position, leaving for university in a different city a year before Ashton was, he wouldn’t make pouty faces to try and hold him back.

The three of them fell into a silence that Ashton felt was uncomfortable, even though Michael couldn’t sense anything wrong—he simply didn’t know Luke or Ashton well enough yet to be able to discern the tension between them.

A wave rolled up onto the shore, washing a crab onto the beach. Michael and Luke watched it scuttle back into the foamy water.

“Well, I like the house party idea,” Luke said, desperately, wanting Ashton to talk to him again. They knew each other so well that Luke could tell when Ashton was even the slightest bit unhappy with him, and he hated it.

“Me too,” Ashton said. “My mum won’t go for it, though, would yours?”

“Dunno,” Luke said, shrugging. “Maybe Jack and Ben can help, they’ve had parties before.”

“My place could work, too,” Michael said, looking at Luke and then at Ashton, who had turned his head to look at them but hadn’t sat up.

“Yeah?” Ashton asked.

“Yeah,” Michael affirmed, nodding. “My parents won’t mind clearing out for a night.”

“That’s settled then,” Ashton said, turning his face back up to the cold blue light of the moon and stars. “House party. Luke, make sure your brothers can get us booze.”

Michael met Luke’s eyes, glad to see he was grinning again.

–

“Be good, boys,” Karen said as she and Daryl pulled on their coats, getting ready to leave. It had taken quite a bit of finagling, but Michael managed to convince his parents that what they needed—no, _deserved_ —was a bit of peace and quiet, away from teenage boys and the suburbs for a long weekend. Daryl was always the easier sell, because Karen could smell trouble from a mile away, so Michael had appealed to his father. They ended up booking a room in a bed & breakfast a little ways down the coast and were clearing out now, leaving Friday afternoon for a late check-in.

“We will, Mum,” Michael said, keeping his voice from showing too much thrill at the amount of lying he had to do about their weekend plans (“Gaming and pizza, probably,” were the exact events he described), and instead sounding earnest crossed with exasperated.

“I know you will,” Karen said, giving Michael a kiss on the cheek and Ashton and Luke a hug each, before following Daryl out to the car. “We’ll see you Sunday evening.” She paused at the door and turned around. “Michael, I don’t want to come home to this house looking like a pigsty.”

“Yes, Mum,” he said, laughing a little. Karen gave her son a smile, then turned back around and left the house.

Once the car had cleared the driveway, the three boys hurried to the door to peek outside; once the car cleared the end of the block, Michael pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Ok, it’s just after 4,” he said, stowing it away again. “My mum has some nice things out in the other room, so I need to put them somewhere, just in case. Luke, call Ben and tell him to bring everything over.”

Luke followed instructions and called his brother; meanwhile, Michael left him by the front door to go put away the breakable objects adorning nearly every flat surface in the adjacent room. Ashton trailed after him.

“I thought you told Cal to come over?” Michael said absently, picking up small glass figures and even a lamp, which he handed to Ashton.

“He’ll be here later. I think he’s waiting for Mali,” Ashton said, grinning a little at the prospect. Michael looked at him in confusion, shaking his head. “His sister,” Ashton clarified, and Michael nodded, then jerked his head to indicate that Ashton should follow him.

“Gonna stow this stuff in my room,” Michael said, leading Ashton upstairs and down a short hall, nudging one of the doors open with his shoulder. Ashton had been in Michael’s room before, but only a few times, and never just the two of them. It was dimly lit and painted a deep steely blue, but the wall color was hardly visible due to the number of posters and photos taped and pushpinned to the plaster. Almost every band Ashton loved and some he’d never even heard of were featured on posters of all sizes. He liked Michael’s room, even though he thought it probably would give him a headache if he decorated his own room that way.

“Think the bed’ll be safe?” Michael asked, stepping toward it; as he did, he almost lost his grip on a candleholder and it _tinked_ against all the other crap he had in his arms. He sighed and looked at Ashton. “Put that down and come take some of these.”

Ashton placed the lamp down on Michael’s bedside table, beside his actual bedroom lamp, then returned to take some of what Michael was holding.

“I dunno about the bed,” Ashton said. “Couple of drunk kids come in, it’s dark, next thing you know we’re calling an ambulance because one of them has glass shards embedded in their back. He wiggled one of the small trinkets between two fingers at Michael.

“Uh, my room is going to be off-limits to everyone who isn’t me, but I get your point. Put them on my desk,” he replied, turning his back to Ashton. He pushed his schoolbooks and papers off the desk and began arranging his mother’s knickknacks on the surface, stepping out of the way so Ashton could do the same.

“Listen, about the off-limits thing,” Ashton began. “Calum is bringing his sister, and—”

“And if she’s hooking up with anyone in here, it’s gonna be me,” Michael said, rolling his eyes. “Off-limits because I don’t want anyone’s jacked up jizz on my shit, yours included.”

Ashton huffed and crossed his arms, but just nodded. He’d find a way to sneak Mali up to Michael’s room without him knowing. If she, like, was interested. (Ashton had been reading the signs. She was totally interested. He just wasn’t sure if _Mali_ knew that yet.)

Michael crossed to the door, looking back at Ashton, still standing by his desk with his arms crossed. “I mean it,” he said, stern. He was only half-kidding.

“I know,” Ashton said, stepping forward and playfully pushing Michael out of the door, pulling it closed behind him. “Just leave it closed, or put a sock on the door if you’re worried.”

“Yeah, all right,” he said, heading a bit further down the hall to close his parents’ bedroom door too, just to be safe. “Let’s get back down there. Ben and Jack should be here soon.”

–

_Have a happy birthday, sweetie. I hope you’re having a fun time with Luke and Michael._

Ashton smiled down at his phone, the text his mother had sent him displayed on the screen. It was the first birthday of his that she wasn’t attending, though she had said something earlier about getting the family together for a cake soon.

 _Thanks Mum. :D_ Ashton replied, taking care not to spell anything wrong, then stowed his phone away in his pocket and set out looking for Calum. He was sure that his sister wouldn’t be with him anymore, not when they’d arrived an hour ago while Ashton and Michael had been trying to figure out who brought the weed (to thank them) and who was the person trying to do a keg stand (to tell them to knock it the fuck off). But the beer in Ashton’s belly was warming his limbs all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes, and he felt just enough confidence to try and make a move.

“Calummmm,” Ashton shouted, finally spotting him near the TV in the living room, which was playing a movie that no one could hear.

“Hey, man,” Calum said as Ashton approached. He’d only seen Ashton briefly a bit earlier, as he’d rushed past holding a joint in one hand and a beer in the other. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” he said, not quite slurring the word but definitely on his way there. “Listen, hey,” he continued. Calum nudged Ashton’s shoulder before he could say anything else, nodding toward the joint tucked behind Ashton’s ear.

“You gonna share that or what?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and licking his lip. Ashton plucked the joint from where it was nestled, tangled in his hair, and handed it to Calum, who promptly pulled a lighter from his pocket.

“Anyway,” Ashton tried again. “Where is your sister?”

But Calum wasn’t as forthcoming as Ashton believed he would have been; his expression hardened, eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“What?” Ashton asked, thrown off now. The gears were working in his head, but he couldn’t think of a response.

“Why are you asking after my sister?” Calum asked, lighting the joint but looking pointedly unhappy despite the free drugs.

“I, uh,” Ashton began. “I wanted to say hi.”

“You know she has a boyfriend,” Calum said, and even though Ashton wasn’t sure he believed him, his eyes widened.

“Shit, really?” he asked, and Calum nodded. “Shit,” Ashton said again. “That sucks. He probably won’t like it if we hook up.”

“You’re not going to hook up with her,” Calum said, though now he sounded more like he just hoped Ashton wouldn’t, rather than that he was stating a concrete fact.

“I maybe am,” Ashton said, grinning, and right then and there, Calum knew he had nothing to worry about. Ashton looked halfway gone already, and with all the alcohol and weed around, he probably wasn’t going to be hooking up with anyone.

“Where’s Luke?” Calum asked, changing the subject. “I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Luke is…” Ashton trailed off, then shrugged. “I don’t know. Around.”

“If you see him, let me know,” Calum said, lifting the joint back to his lips and taking a long drag. He offered it to Ashton, pinching it and holding the unlit end toward him. Instead of taking it, Ashton ducked his head down and took it between his lips, inhaling deeply before pulling away.

“Gonna go find Luke,” he said, voice tight, giving Calum a thumbs up, then turned away and headed back into the kitchen.

Luke, really, could have been anywhere: Upstairs, downstairs, outside. He wasn’t sure where to look first, so he snagged another cup of beer and set about searching. He made it halfway out of the kitchen before stopping and looking back, in case Luke was in there but had escaped his gaze—but no, Luke wasn’t in the kitchen. Ashton nodded to himself and made his way back past Calum, waving at him as he passed the joint Ashton had given him to a girl with electric blue hair. Calum waved back as Ashton took the stairs two at a time, until he realized he wasn’t quite sober enough to do that, and then climbed them normally, clinging to the banister.

The upstairs hall wasn’t as packed, but there were people standing around, talking and drinking, and there was a line for the bathroom. Ashton gave everyone a quick once-over, but none of them were Luke. He did a double-take when he saw a girl who looked extraordinarily like Mali making out with a guy, tucked away into the far corner. If that was her, and she really did have a boyfriend, then good for her. He was probably a fucking shitstain who sucked in every possible way, but if she liked him then, like, good for her. He looked at the doorknob of Michael’s room. A sock. He looked back up at maybe-Mali and the guy she was with. Good. The sock was working if they were in the hallway.

Satisfied, and still wondering where Luke was, Ashton made his way back downstairs and, pausing only to top off his beer, headed down into the dark basement. It was really more of Michael’s man-cave than a basement, and Ashton could have sworn he’d said it would be off-limits too, but either he’d changed his mind or no one gave enough of a shit to listen.

The TV was on down there too, as the only light source, and it was much more audible than the one upstairs, but the amount of people laughing and talking was still enough that only snippets of dialogue onscreen could be heard. Ashton caught a glimpse of Keanu Reeves and did a double-take. Who the fuck had chosen The Matrix?

“Ash!”

Ashton turned to look to his right, then his left, before finding who had called him. It was Luke, with a group of kids from his year at school, sitting in a circle and passing a bong back and forth.

“Who brought this?” Ashton asked, heading over and kneeling down between Luke and the girl he was next to.

Luke gestured vaguely to one of the boys across the circle from him. “Matt,” Luke said.

“Calum was looking for you,” Ashton said, waving any of the three boys who could have been “Matt” even though none of them were looking.

“Cal’s here?” Luke asked, excitedly, all apprehension he felt at Ashton moving out of his childhood home to share a place with Calum in Newcastle apparently gone.

“Yeah he is,” Ashton said, moving from kneeling to a squatting position, his hands on his knees as he balanced on his toes, before wobbling uncontrollably and having to grab onto Luke for support. He pressed his face into the side of Luke’s, laughing. Luke tried to shrug Ashton’s hand off his shoulder; it didn’t work, but Ashton took the hint and slowly stood back up. He was feeling all the beer he’d drunk a bit more now, not to mention the weed he’d smoked earlier.

“Where is he?” Luke asked, waving away the girl next to him when she offered him the bong again. 

“Upstairs,” Ashton answered, and Luke stood up beside him, pushing him a little to get him moving. 

“Lead the way,” Luke said, hands still on Ashton’s back, so it was more like he was leading Ashton than the other way around.

The kitchen was bright compared to the basement, so Ashton paused for a moment to let his eyes acclimate before returning to the living room, where Calum still was. Ashton blanched when he saw Mali had joined him, with the guy from the hallway earlier. So Calum hadn’t been lying. Ashton scowled, and then even more so when Luke pushed him again from behind.

“Dude, you’re blocking the way,” Luke said, pushing past Ashton and making a beeline for Calum.

“Hey!” Luke greeted him, pulling him in for a hug even though Calum was mid-sentence.

“Hey,” Calum replied just as Ashton joined them. “Found him, did you?”

“I did,” Ashton said, smiling a little, half at Calum but mostly at Mali, who was barely even looking at him.

“Get me a beer, Ash,” Luke said, glancing over at him. “Yeah?”

“What?” Ashton asked, but Luke had already turned back to Calum.

“Happy birthday,” he was saying to Luke, who thanked him with a smile and another huge hug.

Clearly dismissed, and none too happy about it, Ashton turned and went back into the kitchen. A group of five was standing in front of the keg, so he rounded them and headed to the fridge—he knew there were a few bottles stashed in there. He pulled the door open, the contents on the shelves clinking into each other as he did, and grabbed a bottle from the bottom shelf.

The group had widened by at least three more people just by the time he’d straightened up, and were taking up a good portion of the space, so Ashton edged his way around them while making sure to give the basement stairs a wide berth, just to be safe.

“You just missed him,” Calum said when Ashton reappeared, laughing and jerking his thumb toward the upstairs landing. “Said he had to piss.”

Ashton clenched his hand tighter around the bottle—first he was sent on an errand that Luke could have run himself, and then he didn’t even wait for Ashton to get back. This was supposed to be his birthday party, too, and he didn’t want to spend it chasing Luke around. He wanted to get rid of Mali’s boyfriend, take her up to Michael’s room, and… He smiled to himself at the thought.

“You ok, Ashton?” Mali asked him—and rightfully so. He was zoned out, staring at her face.

“Yes,” he said. “I’m going to bring this to Luke.”

“He’s probably coming back—” Mali said as Ashton moved toward the stairs, but she trailed off when Calum lifted a hand to wave her words away.

“Let him go,” he said, chuckling to himself. “Trust me.”

Ashton made his way up the stairs just as slowly as before, except this time he didn’t make the same mistake of trying to clamber up them and just took each step individually. There was a line at the bathroom, still, but it was much shorter than before and only three girls were waiting on it.

“Is Luke in there?” he asked. Two of the girls ignored him, but the one closest to him turned to look.

“Who’s Luke?” she asked, and Ashton snickered. She was at a birthday party for someone she didn’t even know. The longer he thought of it, the funnier it became; soon, he was laughing quietly to himself. The girl wrinkled her nose at him and looked away, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall, trying to get as far away from him as possible without abandoning her place on line.

Finally, the bathroom door opened and Luke emerged. Ashton felt both relieved that it was him, and annoyed again, because Luke had blown him off after ordering him to get him a beer.

“Ash!” Luke said, grinning like it was the first time they’d seen each other in hours instead of minutes. His eyes were tinged red and his smile was a little too easy for him not to be even further gone than Ashton.

“Here’s your beer,” Ashton mumbled, pushing it against Luke’s stomach, the condensation on the bottle wetting his shirt.

“Thanks,” Luke said, not quite understanding that Ashton was a little miffed—but even Ashton forgot to be annoyed. He watched as Luke tried to twist the cap off the bottle but failed each time, before he finally gave up. “Do you have a bottle opener?”

“No,” Ashton said, and turned to look at the girl who didn’t know Luke for assistance. “Do you?”

“Uh, _no_?” she said, rolling her eyes and turning away from them, this time for good.

“Maybe Michael has one,” Ashton said, turning to look at his bedroom door. He had no idea where Michael was, so searching his room would probably be the next best chance.

“Where is he?” Luke asked, and Ashton shrugged, taking the few short steps to Michael’s bedroom door.

“Wait,” Luke said, grabbing Ashton’s arm; his palm was cold and clammy from the bottle. “The sock.” He snickered, laughing a little.

“Michael put that there,” Ashton said, and Luke made a disgusted noise.

“Then why would you want to go in?”

“What? We need...oh. _Oh_. No, he’s not in there he, uh, he put in on there before. So no one _else_ would go in,” Ashton said, explaining. He twisted the doorknob and pushed it open.

The lights were off, so it was dark in the room, but it was clearly empty.

“Oh,” Luke said, waiting for Ashton to enter the room and then following him. Ashton closed the door behind them, the sock swinging a little on the knob after it was shut.

“Dark,” Ashton said, feeling in his pocket for his phone. The screen illuminated after a simple push of a button, and Ashton made his way over to the bedside table, turning on the lamp there. Nothing happened.

“Turn on the light,” Luke said. Ashton could hear his hands still squeaking on the glass as he futilely tried to open the bottle.

“I just did,” Ashton snapped back, but then realized he’d tried to turn on the lamp that he’d carried upstairs earlier, not the lamp that was actually plugged in. He giggled to himself at this discovery, but then switched on the other lamp.

A soft, warm glow filled the half of the room they were standing in, Michael’s desk and dresser still in half-darkness, his bed and closet painted yellow-orange from the lampshade’s color.

Luke put the beer bottle down on Michael’s dresser to his right, then made his way over to Ashton, who hadn’t actually moved from where he was standing.

“Where should we look?” Luke asked.

“Maybe here?” Ashton suggested, sitting down on Michael’s bed, the sheets bunched up beneath him, and opening the bedside table drawer.

“ _Mistake_ ,” Luke said immediately, as they were greeted with the sight of Michael’s porno collection, some magazines, a box of condoms, lube, and what was quite clearly a Fleshlight. “Close it close it close it close—”

Ashton slammed the drawer shut and looked up at Luke, his expression quite clearly horrified. “Oh my god,” he said.

“I know,” Luke agreed, nodding.

“Oh my god,” Ashton said again.

“I know.” Luke looked over his shoulder at Michael’s desk.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Ashton said, a third time.

“I know,” Luke said absently, not really paying attention as he knelt down in front of Michael’s desk, pulling the drawers open, but slowly, like he was expecting more porn to be stowed there.

“Anything?” Ashton asked, watching Luke from where he sat.

“No,” Luke answered, pushing some things around in the drawers. “Just a pair of scissors. Do you think that will work?”

“Try it,” Ashton said, not fully grasping how terrible an idea that could end up being, considering how inebriated both of them were.

“Ok,” Luke said, taking the scissors from the drawer and retrieving his beer from the top of Michael’s dresser. Like held the bottle with one hand and the scissors with the other, his thumb and fingers slotted into the handles, angling the blades around the neck of the bottle. He tried once to flick the cap off, but the bottle slipped.

“Shit, one sec,” he said to Ashton, even though he hadn’t said anything, and the only one unable to drink the beer was Luke. He tried to same setup again, holding the bottle tighter against his chest, before—

“ _Fuck_ , ow! Shit,” Luke hissed, the scissors and bottle falling from his hands and hitting the floor—thankfully, the beer just bounced once and rolled to rest against Luke’s foot.

“What?” Ashton asked, standing up a bit too fast—he needed a second to regain his balance.

“I cut myself,” Luke said, cradling his hand against his chest. Ashton felt his heart skip a beat in panic, because the way Luke was holding his hand made him think it was serious—but then he held his finger out to Ashton, showing a small sliver cut out of his finger, lined with blood that looked nearly black in the dim light.

“Oh my god,” Ashton said, laughing. Luke frowned at him and lifted his hand to his mouth, sucking the side of his finger. “You’re such a baby.”

“I almost just cut my finger off,” Luke insisted, but when he looked back down at the cut, it wasn’t even bleeding anymore.

“Sure you did,” Ashton said, amusement present in his tone. “Want me to kiss it better, Lukey?”

He was kidding, they both knew he was kidding, but Luke just nodded and held his hand out to Ashton, frowning. His arm hovered between them for a few moments, during which it seemed neither of them could move, breathe, or speak, and then Ashton lifted his hand to Luke’s wrist. Instead of kissing his finger, he took a step toward Luke at the same moment he pulled Luke closer to him.

Luke’s lips were parted, appearing rosy gold in color from the light behind Ashton, and without even bothering to think whether it was a good idea, or if he should, or if it would make things weird, Ashton bypassed Luke’s finger, still near enough that he could have kissed it, and kissed him on the lips instead.

The weirdest thing about it, other than the fact that he was kissing the boy who had been his best friend for basically their entire lives, was that it wasn’t weird. Not really. Luke kissed Ashton back, almost chaste, just their lips moving against each other for a moment or two, and then longer, much longer, as the time to pull away came and went and they were still kissing. As soon as their lips met, Ashton had looked briefly into Luke’s eyes, but then the bright blue irises were gone from sight as Luke’s eyelids fluttered shut, so Ashton closed his eyes too.

His hand was still awkwardly wrapped around Luke’s wrist, but Ashton lowered their arms, not moving his hand from around Luke’s because that might mean they had to stop kissing, and he didn’t want that to happen.

Luke’s lips were soft, softer than he’d expected and for the first time since he saw Mali earlier that evening, he completely forgot all about hooking up with her. Luke smelled like weed and some cologne that Ashton’s mum probably gave him for a Christmas present one year, but he didn’t even mind it. The combination worked, somehow (or maybe he was just drunk enough to think it did), because he didn’t want to pull away from Luke, even though they were still kissing like they’d never kissed anyone else before.

For a brief moment, Ashton considered pulling away, like maybe they’d be stuck in a loop of innocent kissing, barely parting their lips for more but constantly meeting each other’s mouths in a new kiss every second that ticked by for the rest of the night—but as soon as the thought of stopping crossed his mind, Luke did part his lips. Ashton followed his lead, opening his mouth just a little and letting Luke’s lips close around his own lower lip, sucking it gently before he shifted himself a little forward, closer to Ashton, his free hand coming to rest on Ashton’s waist.

Ashton hummed softly and tried to deepen the kiss just a little, moving his tongue over Luke’s lip, his tongue, into his mouth and then, just as quickly as they’d started kissing, they were _making out_ , kissing for real, Luke’s hand gripping Ashton’s side and Ashton’s free hand moving to Luke’s lower back, pulling him forward. A small gasp of surprise fell from Luke’s lips but neither of them acknowledged it, because their fronts were flush together now and even though Ashton had never considered Luke before (or any guy, for that matter), his broad frame felt good against him.

The noises Luke was making were soft and small, noises Ashton had never expected to hear from him—little gasps and tiny whimpers that made it obvious that he was enjoying himself too, and when he pulled back from Ashton, he had no doubt that Luke did want to continue, but maybe he just needed a second.

“Yeah?” Ashton asked, preemptively, and Luke looked up at him, lips still parted slightly.

“Nothing,” Luke said, because he’d broken the kiss even though he didn’t really know what it was that he needed, but what he _wanted_ was to kiss Ashton again, to start it all from the beginning like he needed to repeat it to make it all real.

So he did, lifting his mouth to Ashton’s again, quickly catching his lips in a small kiss before moving ahead much quicker than before. Luke kissed Ashton like it was sustaining him, like he knew what he was doing and like it was something he’d wanted to do their whole lives. And Ashton, whether he knew it or not, was kissing him just the same way, or so it felt to Luke.

Luke tugged his wrist out of Ashton’s hand, moving both of them up Ashton’s sides to his front, trailing over the soft fabric of his button-down shirt, coming to rest on his shoulders. Ashton’s hand was still on Luke’s lower back, so he simply brought the other over to join it, keeping his front pressed tight against him as Luke pulled away from his lips for a second time, though he didn’t seem like he wanted to stop _or_ talk.

He lowered his face to Ashton’s shoulder, resting his mouth and nose against the back of his own hand for a second, like he had to psyche himself up for what he was about to do. He took a deep breath through his nose, audible due to his nerves, then traced his lips over Ashton’s neck, the tip of his nose just tickling the underside of Ashton’s jaw as he did. Every couple of moments Luke would press a kiss to the skin, and Ashton leaned his head up a little to give Luke more room, even though it sort of tickled, and lifted one of his hands to Luke’s hair. Normally, Luke would have given Ashton shit for fucking up his meticulously styled quiff, but it seemed now that he couldn’t care less. Luke just kept kissing Ashton’s neck, sucking a hickey into the side, and Ashton sighed softly as Luke’s lips moved over him.

“Luke,” he tried, but the name came out of his mouth like a squeak. “Luke,” he said again, and this time it was still pretty squeaky but managed to sound more like a name than just a noise.

“Hm,” Luke said, satisfied with the deep red splotch on Ashton’s neck, moving to give him a second one slightly lower down.

“Can we—should we, um...bed?” Ashton asked, assuming Luke would know what he meant, or at least be able to figure it out, even though they were both still drunk as fuck.

“Yes,” Luke said, pushing Ashton a little bit away from him instead of just stepping back himself. He waited a moment, pointedly looking between Ashton and the bed, until Ashton finally clued in and sat down. Still, Luke stood where he was, and Ashton scooched himself backward, kicking off his sneakers, and laying back on the sheets. They were clean (...he hoped), but they were so old and worn that they were the softest thing Ashton thought he’d ever laid on. He held a hand out for Luke, at first to help him climb onto the bed, but then decided that was too stupid and like they were on their honeymoon or something, so he awkwardly changed it into a beckoning gesture.

Luke knelt down beside the bed, one shoulder leaning against it, as he untied his boots, first one foot, and then the other. He stepped out of the shoes and then crawled on top of Ashton, their legs tangling immediately as Luke slotted their hips together, his frame covering Ashton’s better than either of them thought it might.

“Hey,” Ashton said. He felt calm, but almost uncomfortable as well—because he’d seen Luke’s face nearly every day for the past sixteen years and yet, now, he still was able to pick out freckles that he’d never noticed on Luke’s nose.

“Hey,” Luke replied, smiling. How had Ashton never quite taken in how Luke’s nose scrunched up just like that when he smiled?

“This is new,” Ashton said, sounding a little unsure, but not enough to ask Luke to move off of him.

“Yeah,” Luke said, smirking. He rolled his eyes. “Not gonna wuss out, are you? Who’s the baby now?”

“No. I mean, I’m not. To both.” Luke’s eyes were so blue. They were so clear and bright, the lamp beside them washing out the redness and even making his eyes appear a strange sea green color. Why hadn’t he ever looked so closely at his best friend before?

“Good,” Luke said, leaning down toward Ashton’s face, but before Luke could kiss him, Ashton ducked his head up and kissed Luke.

“Ha,” he said, like he won. Luke just snickered and closed the distance between them again, kissing him, his hands reaching down on either side of their bodies to take hold of Ashton’s hands, which had been coming up to wrap around Luke’s sides. Luke laced his fingers between Ashton’s, who let him, even moving with him as Luke pulled his hands up. He pinned Ashton’s hands to the bed beside his head, their forearms resting together as Luke licked into Ashton’s mouth. Ashton squeezed Luke’s hands, eyes closing as they kissed again.

The lamp was still glowing on the side of Ashton’s face—he could see it even though his eyes were closed—and it seemed for a few minutes that all they were going to do was lie on Michael’s bed, making out, and he would have been completely fine with that, until Luke, intentionally or not, moved his hips just enough in a half-circle to make Ashton’s dick twitch with interest.

Ashton hummed a little, questioning without words if that was on purpose or not, but Luke didn’t pull away from him, didn’t stop kissing him—and did it again.

Ashton breathed a sigh against Luke’s lips and cheek as as he kept moving his hips against Ashton’s. Even with two layers of denim between them, Ashton still felt every single movement Luke was making, as small and jerky as they were, and it only took a few movements before Ashton was moving his hips up into Luke’s too.

Luke broke the kiss and met Ashton’s eyes, his own wide at how good it felt, but partially that they were actually doing it, too. Ashton grinned up at him, then rolled his hips up, hard, physically moving Luke’s body a little over his, and he felt heat rush to his groin and chest and cheeks when Luke moaned at the movement and the pressure on his dick.

“Do that again,” he said, sounding much more sober than he had a few minutes before they found themselves so close to each other.

Ashton squeezed Luke’s hands in his own, dug his heels into Michael’s bed, and lifted his hips into Luke’s, at the same moment that Luke ground his down against Ashton. They both moaned this time, loudly, Luke’s cheek pressing against Ashton’s before turning to kiss it, drag his lips over his face before meeting Ashton in a kiss again. Ashton repeated his action, lifting his hips up into Luke’s as Luke pushed his back down, and each time they moved together either boy found himself more breathless than he had been just a moment before.

The denim separating them made it hard to tell, but Ashton knew his dick was chubbed the fuck up, half-hard between the two of them, and he knew Luke had to be in exactly the same position just judging by the look on his face, and the vehemence with which he was moving his hips against Ashton’s.

A loud burst of laughter from outside the door jarred them apart, and Luke breathed out Ashton’s name, stopping his hips, but not moving them away; he was still pinning Ashton’s hands down on the bed, and now he was pinning Ashton’s hips there too.

“Luke,” Ashton echoed with his own sigh, and their eyes met, green-blue boring into woody hazel and Luke moved onto his knees. He pulled away from Ashton and moved above him, fingers slipping from Ashton’s, palms parting from his, until he brought his hands to rest on the front of Ashton’s hips. Ashton was acutely aware of exactly how close to his dick Luke’s hands were, but he didn’t say anything, because it was Luke’s turn to speak.

“Wanna do something else,” Luke said, moving one of his hands up a little, pushing the hem of Ashton’s shirt up over his front. He undid the lowest button with his other hand.

“Ok,” Ashton agreed, because why wouldn’t he?

At Ashton’s affirmation, Luke climbed off of him, too quickly, and his feet hit the floor hard, but he managed to stay standing.

“What, though?” Ashton asked, because Luke was kneeling beside the bed again, settled back with his feet tucked under his ass, and he was looking up at Ashton like he expected him to know what he wanted.

“Sit here,” Luke said, patting the edge of the bed. Ashton hesitated, then pushed himself up, closing his eyes for a moment against how quickly he moved, before swinging his legs off the bed and sitting in front of Luke. Once he was situated, Luke reached up and undid another two buttons on Ashton’s shirt, this time the second and third from the bottom.

“Luke. What?” Ashton asked again, wanting an explanation, but even as he asked, Luke lifted himself up so he was standing on his knees, and tugged his t-shirt up out of the way, to unbutton his jeans. Ashton’s eyes widened comically and his lungs forgot to inhale, but he simply couldn’t look away from Luke, especially as he rolled the waist of the skinny jeans down around his thighs, and then in one swift movement, pushed down his underwear too. Ashton was looking at Luke’s dick and things got intensely real much faster than he wanted.

Luke looked up at Ashton, his eyes cunning, a calculated smirk on his lips, as he lowered his right hand down to take his cock, arched and not fully hard yet, into his hand. He stroked himself slowly, and when Ashton lifted his gaze from Luke’s dick to his face, he saw Luke had been watching him the whole time.

“I get horny when I drink,” Luke said by way of explanation, which, ok. Ashton just nodded, because what else was he supposed to do? He had his own dick to worry about, and judging by how tightly confining his pants felt, it wanted some attention. Maybe he wanted to give it that attention with Luke watching—Luke certainly had no qualms about doing just that with Ashton watching. He licked his lip and let his eyes dip down to look at Luke’s hand on his cock again. That was all it took for him to lean back a little, undo his own jeans and lift his hips up, pushing his jeans and underwear down in one go.

Luke’s eyes zeroed in on his semi immediately, framed nicely by either side of his shirt—suddenly, it made sense why Luke had undone half of the buttons on it. Ashton giggled; he had to give Luke credit. He...actually kind of seemed to know what he was doing. Ashton looked at Luke’s face again, mouth open to ask if he’d ever done this kind of thing before, when Luke moved his free hand to Ashton’s dick and stroked him too.

“ _Luke_ ,” Ashton said, his name punched out and guttural, but Luke just smirked up at him.

“This cool?” he asked, and without waiting for an answer, continued. “I didn’t know what to get you for your birthday, so...I’ll just go with this.” He laughed a little (Ashton had no idea what was so funny or if he was even joking, but then, he was fairly certain he was on the edge of having a heart attack) and leaned up, angling the head of Ashton’s cock into his mouth.

“Luke,” Ashton said again, but this time, his voice was much calmer, less agitated, and he even moved his hands into Luke’s hair again, gripping it tight as Luke’s mouth sank onto Ashton’s cock. Ashton had gotten blowjobs before, but this was different, somehow. Maybe because it was Luke, and even though they’d never even come close to _this kind_ of relationship, whatever it was, they still had the most history out of any of Ashton’s other friends. He’d known Luke his entire life, sometimes he could even swear that Luke knew him better than he knew himself. And now that same boy, his absolute best mate in the entire world, was on his knees between his legs, giving him head.

It was over- _fucking_ -whelming, to say the least.

Luke’s tongue moved over the underside of the head of Ashton’s cock, laving over it and sucking while his hand worked the shaft. It was a bit clumsy, which Ashton chalked up to his sobriety (or, more accurately, lack thereof), but it wasn’t unpleasant. He managed to tear his eyes away from where Luke was working over his dick and looked down, between his knee and Luke’s shoulder, where he could see Luke’s arm moving steadily up and down, and his breath hitched in his throat. Luke was still touching himself.

“Fuck,” Ashton mumbled, tangling his left hand further into Luke’s hair, but moving his right down over the side of Luke’s face. He felt his cheeks hollowing every time he slid off of Ashton’s dick, and Ashton cupped Luke’s face, his thumb gently rubbing over his cheekbone. Luke’s eyes flicked up to Ashton’s face, and if he didn’t have a mouthful of dick, Ashton could have sworn Luke was smirking at him, because there he was, being his damn sentimental and affectionate self, even when he was drunk and high in a bedroom that wasn’t his own, getting a blowjob from his best friend.

Luke kept his eyes locked onto Ashton’s, watching his reaction to what Luke was doing. Ashton bit his lip, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before opening them again. Watching Luke go down on him was great, but he actually was more interested in the other thing that was going on down in between Luke’s legs.

Threading his fingers between Luke’s hair, Ashton leaned just a little to the side so he could keep Luke sucking on his cock in his peripheral vision, but be able to focus on Luke jerking himself off too. Ashton moaned, loud, when Luke simultaneously rubbed his thumb over the head of his dick at the same time he trailed his tongue flat over the head of Ashton’s.

“Do it again,” Ashton said, voice thick, and Luke listened to him, moving the pad of his thumb in a circle over the slit in his cock, lapping at the head of Ashton’s dick, tongue firm against him. He pulled away, humming softly at the taste, and licked his lip before taking Ashton back into his mouth.

This time, he didn’t take his time or bother teasing—he sucked hard on the tip of Ashton’s cock, moving further down onto it, then back off, repeating the motion as he stroked himself off faster, fingers a tight, hot circle around his length. He was close, and he wanted Ashton to be close too, so he swallowed around his dick, then pulled off nearly all the way for good this time. He used his hand to move over the shiny, wet, velvety skin of Ashton’s cock and just worked the tip with his lips.

Luke moved his tongue around the head, drawing another copious amount of moans and whimpers from Ashton, before flicking it against the slit in the head, using his hand to essentially jerk Ashton off into his mouth. Ashton exhaled slowly, spreading his thighs as much as he could with his jeans still around them, and nudged Luke’s knee with his foot.

“Wanna see you come,” he mumbled, embarrassed at asking, but still wanting it. “Don’t until I do, ok?”

Luke hummed his assent, nodding a little, then took just the head of Ashton’s cock into his mouth and sucked it, squeezing the shaft, and Ashton’s hips jerked forward of their own accord, a moan making its way from his mouth. Luke hummed around Ashton lasciviously and did the same exact thing again, and again, and then Ashton’s hips jerked forward, but this time, he came into Luke’s mouth, both hands back in his hair now, gripping it tight as Luke sucked him through his orgasm, swallowing Ashton’s come and pulling off his dick with an audible _pop_.

Even though he wanted to lie down and maybe take a nap, he wanted to watch Luke come even more. He none-too-gently pushed Luke’s head backward so he would have a clear view of how he was moving his hand over himself, jerking his dick on the floor of Michael’s room, the taste of Ashton’s come still in his mouth. For all Ashton knew, Luke may have been giving him a show, or maybe he always jerked off like he was desperate for release, but when Luke finally came, shooting all over his hand and the floor, he wrapped his free hand around Ashton’s leg and held tight to it, dick spasming in his hand, his lips parted and eyes squeezed tight shut.

Finally, after another two lines of come dripped from the tip of his cock, Luke took a deep breath and looked up at Ashton. He looked blissed out, but mischievous at the same time. “Happy birthday.”

–

“In my defense, I have some hazy memories of telling you the blowjob was your birthday present,” Luke said, cutting a piece of his omelet and stabbing it with his fork.

“I can’t believe you didn’t get me an _actual_ birthday present,” Ashton said, half-serious.

“I can’t believe you were the one who suggested the goddamn sock on the door and then _completely_ ignored it,” Michael retorted. He and Calum were sat across from Luke and Ashton in the small, greasy diner where they’d decided to go for breakfast the next afternoon, before tackling the house clean-up.

“In _my_ defense,” Ashton said, “I wasn’t expecting to get any action when we went in there.”

Luke grinned and picked up his coffee mug, sipping it then placing it back in its saucer.

“Since when do you two hook up, anyway?” Calum asked.

“Yeah,” Michael said, tone accusatory. He sounded annoyed, like he was asking out of irritation that they’d messed around in his room, but they could all tell he was genuinely curious.

“We don’t,” Ashton said. He speared a piece of pancake from his plate and inspected it to make sure it had enough syrup, then ate it.

“Not before last night, anyway,” Luke said. Ashton hovered his fork over Luke’s plate. After a moment’s consideration, Luke nodded, and Ashton scooped up some of the hash browns for himself.

“I find that hard to believe, seeing as you two are clearly already married,” Michael said. This didn’t get the rise out of Luke or Ashton that he’d hoped it would: they both just shrugged and continued eating their breakfast.

“I guess it’s not so weird,” Calum said, looking for their waitress to signal her that he needed more coffee. “They’ve been best mates for their whole lives, basically.”

“Yeah, but. I mean, wouldn’t that be what _makes_ it weird?” Michael asked, looking at Calum, then over to Luke and Ashton. Luke was sipping his coffee again, and Ashton was cutting his pancakes. Neither looked inclined to answer, completely serene in regards to what happened between them.

“Maybe that’s why it happened,” Calum said, and Luke smirked, but didn’t comment. “I mean, I think everyone thinks about it at one time or another. Experimenting, or whatever. Figuring yourself out.”

Putting it like that, Michael supposed, it did make sense, in that they’d done it and that they’d done it with someone they completely trusted. He shrugged and nodded, then spoke. “I have an even more important question.”

“What?” Ashton asked, looking up from his plate.

“Are you gonna do it again?”

–

“Are we?” Ashton asked Luke, looking over at him. They were in Ashton’s house, in his living room; his mum had taken his little brother and sister out to the movies for the evening.

“Are we what?” Luke asked. He looked over at Ashton, the television casting both of them into bluish light. It was dark outside, but the curtains over the windows blocked out any light from streetlamps or passing cars. Luke suspected he knew what Ashton meant, but he didn’t want to assume. It had been several hours since their late breakfast at the diner, and they were both dead tired after cleaning up Michael’s house.

“You know,” Ashton said, timid, like someone might overhear even though they were alone in the house. “Are we gonna mess around again.”

Luke shrugged, despite the fact that Ashton wasn’t looking at him and that it was dark enough to hide the gesture even if Ashton _were_ looking. “We could.”

“Ok. Yeah. But would it be just to do it, or would it be, like...an actual thing?” Ashton was flipping the remote control back and forth between his hands, purposely not looking at Luke, because he wasn’t sure which answer he wanted it to be.

“Maybe we could do it again and then decide,” Luke suggested, glancing over at Ashton. He smiled a little when Ashton glanced over at him too.

“That’s...yeah,” Ashton said, agreeing, a smile gracing his lips too.

“Your mum’ll probably be home soon,” Luke said, settling himself back on the couch.

“Yeah, but it’s getting late. Once she gets home she’s going to want everyone to get to sleep. Even me, I think she knows about the party last night.”

“What? How?” Luke asked, incredulous.

“I have no idea, and she isn’t acting mad, but you know how mums are. They want you to feel guilty.” Ashton lowered his feet from the coffee table in front of the couch as he said this, because they weren’t supposed to be there, according to his mum.

Luke snickered. “So she’s just acting like she knows you got shitfaced so you’ll feel bad about it? Damn, think how bad you’d feel if she knew I sucked your dick.”

Ashton hit Luke on the arm, but his wide smile wasn’t able to be missed even in the darkness of the room.

“I actually...I don’t think she’d care,” Ashton said. Luke gave him a half-smile in return, one corner of his mouth quirking upward, just as the front door behind him opened, letting in a gust of chilly air, the rest of Ashton’s family bustling in.

“Hi Ashton,” Anne Marie said, not quite paying attention until she flicked on the lightswitch, the room lighting up as the lamps came to life. “Oh, hello Luke,” she added after noticing that he was there.

“Hi, Mrs. Irwin,” Luke said politely, like he wasn’t just casually talking about sucking her son off.

But she was already taking her coat off, ushering the other two children into the room so they could all hang their coats up in the front closet, and Ashton stood from the couch, nudging Luke’s shoulder with the backs of his fingers. “Let’s go,” he muttered, and Luke followed as they headed the opposite direction, through the kitchen to the back of the house, where Ashton’s room was. Luke headed inside and Ashton called out “Night, Mum!” as he followed. They heard her and the kids yell back goodnight before Ashton closed the door.

“So, should I just take these off?” Luke asked once Ashton was looking back at him, hands just below his bellybutton near the button of his jeans.

“Very funny,” Ashton said, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, take them off and then explain to my mum why your dick’s out when she comes in here in two minutes.” He sat on the edge of his bed. After a moment, Luke joined him and pulled his phone out of his pocket, but Ashton continued staring at the door until, sure enough, someone knocked on it.

“Yeah?” Ashton called, looking at Luke for a brief moment with a smirk on his face.

The door opened and in stepped Anne Marie.

“So, how was your party last night? I haven’t seen you all day to ask,” Anne Marie said, a faint smile on her face. She looked expectant, and Luke knew what Ashton meant about it seeming like she knew what went down (excluding himself, of course).

“It was ok. Michael just had a bunch of kids over, some of our friends, you know,” Ashton answered, and Luke nodded, muted. It wasn’t something to agree to with vehemence.

“What did you all do?” She leaned on the doorframe, looking at Luke too.

“Hung around, watched some movies.” Ashton looked at Luke. “By the way, who picked The Matrix?”

Luke laughed. “I don’t even know.”

Anne Marie smiled to herself and shook her head back and forth once—she wasn’t going to get anything more out of either of them. “I’ll let you boys have fun. Goodnight.”

“Night, Mum,” Ashton said, as Luke also wished her goodnight, then both returned to talking about the movie (“I do like it!” Ashton was insisting. “Just doesn’t seem like a movie you’d pick for a birthday party!”). Anne Marie closed the door behind her as she left.

“Told you,” Ashton said, once the sound of her footsteps had receded.

“Mums,” Luke said, chuckling a little. He leaned forward to untie the laces of his shoes, then kicked them off and shuffled himself further back onto Ashton’s bed, leaning against the wall. “Think she’ll come back?”

“Nah,” Ashton replied, shaking his head. He slipped his own sneakers off and dropped them down beside the bed, then turned to face Luke, just shifting how he was sitting instead of moving closer to him. “Are we really gonna do this?” he asked after a moment, both excited and anxious at the prospect.

“I mean,” Luke said, that cunning look back in his eyes, “I want to.”

Ashton couldn’t help but return the smirk that was on Luke’s lips—the prospect of doing it again didn’t feel strange even sober, so Ashton nodded. “Me too.”

“Then come here,” Luke said, leaning forward again, but this time, he moved his hand around the back of Ashton’s neck, pulling him closer. Ashton moved with him easily, their lips meeting in a kiss that was the right amount of firm with some pliancy, neither too overbearing nor lax; it was like they melted right into each other, like they were always meant to find each other in this way. Ashton’s heart was fluttering in his chest, but he didn’t think it was from nervousness anymore; now, he was kind of feeling like he’d found something he never realized he’d wanted.

Luke didn’t focus on just kissing Ashton’s lips; he moved from them to his cheek, down over his jawbone to the underside of his chin, lower to his neck, grazing his lips over the two bruises he’d sucked into Ashton’s neck the night before. Maybe he shouldn’t, maybe he should just leave well enough alone in that Ashton didn’t mind that Luke had marked him, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Wonder if anyone else knows these are from me,” he muttered, Ashton’s ragged breath in his ear, catching in his throat when Luke spoke. He flicked his tongue over them, nipping lightly at the spots before kissing down as far as the collar of Ashton’s shirt would let him.

“Maybe,” Ashton found himself saying, though what he initially thought was “I hope so;” it was enough that Luke had done it in the first place, had marked Ashton so anyone who saw them enter the room and then leave the room together would know what had happened. But to think that maybe he’d done it specifically for that purpose—it kind of thrilled Ashton in a way he never knew he liked.

“Mm,” Luke hummed, either agreeing or no longer paying attention. His hand ghosted over Ashton’s thigh, bypassing his dick and instead tangling into the front of his shirt, tugging on it a little. “Take this off.”

Ashton pulled away from Luke just enough to detach his lips from his neck, but instead of moving back completely, he kissed Luke again on the mouth, their tongues meeting between them, lips pressing together before both of them broke apart, mischievous eyes locking for just a second. Ashton shrugged his shirt off, dropping it onto the bed beside him, while Luke tossed his over the side of the bed to land on his shoes.

Luke was back on Ashton before he really even had a chance to take in Luke’s form; he was still thin, like Ashton knew from countless days at the beach, but he’d never really _looked_ before. He’d get a chance later, he was sure—right now, he wanted his mouth on Luke’s body, or Luke’s mouth on his—he really wasn’t picky.

“Let me—” Ashton began, finding Luke’s shoulders and gripping them, pushing him back against the wall.

Instead of protesting, Luke allowed Ashton to move him, keep him upright as shifted himself forward and leaned in. “I want to…” he said, trailing off, either unable to find the words or afraid to say them, but he kept moving forward until his lips were against Luke’s neck, kissing him soft but sure, unwavering in his movements. He moved downward, now tracing his lips along Luke’s collarbone, perfectly visible in his lean chest, his left hand trailing up Luke’s leg to his hip, his waist, up over his chest, finally stopping on his shoulder once again.

This time, Ashton found one of Luke’s hands tangled in his hair, his curls a bit more difficult to card through, but Luke managed all the same. “Ash,” Luke sighed out, voice low, and Ashton felt it just as he heard it, his name in Luke’s chest just as much as in the air around them. He thought he’d never experienced anything so nice before.

“Say it again,” Ashton said, pulling away just for a second to speak, before returning to what he was doing, placing kisses along Luke’s chest, down over one of his nipples, when Luke whispered his name again.

Ashton felt a coil of _something_ he couldn’t quite identify burn to life in his heart, his stomach. He straightened up and pressed his lips to Luke’s, squeezing his shoulder as Luke’s arms moved around Ashton’s body, holding him loosely as they kissed, languid at first, but slowly growing more and more heated. The longer that Ashton was near Luke like this, the more he could feel his cock hardening in his jeans; he lowered his free hand to palm himself through the denim.

“Let me,” Luke said, against his mouth, reaching between them without even looking and pulling Ashton’s hand away from his crotch.

“Wait, just—” Ashton moved away from Luke entirely, sliding off of his bed and undoing his jeans, then stepping out of them so all he was wearing was just his underwear.

Luke met his eyes, and Ashton didn’t miss the smirk playing at his lips, but Luke scooched himself forward and did the same, so they were both equally undressed. They were silent for a moment, but then Ashton giggled a little, breaking the ice, and Luke laughed too, though after a moment, he stepped forward, cupping Ashton’s face in his hands. He lowered Ashton’s lips to his own for a short kiss, then hopped back into the bed, patting the spot next to him. Ashton climbed onto the bed beside him, sheets slipping beneath their bodies.

Now they were just sitting next to each other, facing out into the open space of Ashton’s room, but even as Ashton turned to look at Luke, he felt Luke’s hand move onto his bare thigh, tickling the sensitive skin and making him smile again.

“Kiss me,” Luke said, and Ashton did what he asked, closing the distance between them and taking Luke’s lips with his. As he did, Luke moved his hand up to cup Ashton through his underwear, the fabric not doing much to hide his erection. In a moment of pure ingenuity, Ashton did the same; he moved his hand to cover Luke’s dick, moving over it, pulling the fabric taut over his length and giving Luke some friction on his heated skin. Luke bit back a small whimper, their arms crossed in front of them, his elbow against Ashton’s forearm. He kissed Ashton a bit harder, taking his lower lip between his teeth and gently biting it before kissing him deeper, fully. Ashton went along with him, turning his body just a little bit more to face Luke and make it easier to kiss him; though their shoulders were pressed together, it didn’t hinder them at all.

It didn’t take Luke long to move his hand from Ashton’s dick up to the waistband of his underwear, slipping his fingers inside it, before finally just following with his whole hand, rubbing over Ashton’s cock with his palm flat, the elastic stretched against his wrist. Ashton hissed out a sigh at the real contact between them, of Luke’s hand touching him with nothing between their skin.

“Still ok?” Luke asked, meeting Ashton’s eyes despite how close together their faces were.

“Yeah,” Ashton said, then moved his arm a little angling his hand so he was rubbing his palm flat against the outline of Luke’s cock through the fabric covering him.

“Fuck,” Luke whined, and Ashton grinned.

“Good?” he asked, though he didn’t feel nearly as confident as he sounded—Luke was jerking him off for real now, and even though his pace was slow, Ashton could still tell that he needed to hurry up and start touching Luke for real.

“Yeah,” Luke answered, nodding, his nose brushing over Ashton’s cheek. It made him smile to himself and kiss Luke again, just a peck on the lips, before moving his hand to tug on the waistband of Luke’s underwear, slipping his hand inside of them too.

With both of their hands working over each other, the whisper of fabric and skin on skin wasn’t nearly as inaudible as it had been when it was just Luke’s hand moving; Ashton tucked his face against Luke’s shoulder, eyes closed, and he opened his legs a little wider. Luke hummed quietly as Ashton twisted his hand around the shaft of his dick, then pulled his hand off of Ashton’s dick completely, only to push his underwear down, exposing his cock. Precome was leaking from the slit in the head until Luke smudged it away with his thumb, and Ashton whined and kissed Luke’s shoulder, open-mouthed, feeling cool air on his hand as Luke pushed his own underwear down, too.

Ashton was literally unable to resist—he lifted his head and looked down Luke’s front, at his hand touching him, skin soft against his palm. He cupped the head in his palm and Luke groaned a little, both at the feeling and for more contact than what Ashton was giving him, especially since he was moving his hand over Ashton much more quickly now, quick enough that Ashton’s leg was pressing against Luke’s, out of his control, his body tensing up each time Luke’s thumb and forefinger neared the head.

“Are you close?” Luke asked, like he was able to tell and already knew the answer. Ashton nodded and Luke smiled playfully, kissing him again before squeezing down on him a bit tighter, curling his thumb up over the head. Ashton came with a small cry, come landing on his underwear, his sheets, and Luke’s palm, unintentionally slicking it over him as he kept his hand moving.

Ashton’s hand had stuttered to an uneven rhythm on Luke’s cock as he rode out his orgasm, but Luke was rolling his hips just a little into Ashton’s hand, trying to keep the friction going, and just as Ashton was coming down, kissing softly against Luke’s shoulder again, Luke came too, turning his head to rest his cheek against the crown of Ashton’s head, his hair soft but the tiniest bit scratchy against his face.

“Ash,” Luke sighed as his body relaxed, his semen on the bedsheets and his underwear too, a final, weak spurt of it rolling down the shaft as Ashton let go of him, hand coming to rest on his thigh.

“Luke,” Ashton whispered in reply, keeping his lips against his shoulder, just so he wouldn’t dislodge Luke’s cheek from touching him.

Ashton knew what the burning coil in his body was, now, and he also believed Luke felt it for him too: Longing.

–

It didn’t seem too hard for them to make a decision on where they stood, or where they wanted their friendship to go from that point on. After they both caught their breath and untangled their arms from each other’s, Ashton had lifted his head to look at Luke, who, for the first time since all of this started, looked a little bit shy.

“So,” Ashton said, tucking himself back into his underwear, keeping his eyes on Luke even as he did the same.

“Yeah,” Luke said, mostly just to say something at all. He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall of Ashton’s bedroom, but his face was angled to look at him.

“What do you think?” Ashton asked.

Luke smirked at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling a little bit. “I think we both knew what we wanted and used it as an excuse to do that again.”

Ashton blinked. “You think so?”

Luke nodded. “You kind of had your mind made up before, right?”

Ashton hesitated in answering. Had he? Everything seemed too smooth, too easy, for it not to have been the case. Maybe he had used the eventual decisionmaking they’d have to do as a reason to fuck around with Luke again. He licked his lip, then looked down at their legs, still pressed together before speaking. “I think so.”

“Yeah,” Luke said again. “Me too.”

Instead of answering, Ashton just let out a small, pleased puff of laughter, not yet exactly sure what this meant for the two of them, but glad they were seemingly on the same page.

“So, um,” Ashton said, and Luke laughed this time.

“One of us is gonna have to say it,” he said, looking at Ashton, eyes flicking down to his lips for a moment, then back up to his eyes, biting his own lower lip.

“That is true.” Ashton nodded, ready to leave it there, but the look Luke gave him told him that wasn’t going to fly. He shook his head. “Fuck it. Ok. I like this. With you. It...it’s good. We maybe did this shit out of order, but.”

Luke took pity on him, taking his turn to talk. “It doesn’t matter. We’ve known each other forever anyway. I think we should give it a try. Us. Give _us_ a try.”

“So...you’d be my boyfriend,” Ashton said, tentatively, in case he was wrong.

“Well, you’d be mine too, so.”

“Then...deal.”

Luke tried to suppress the grin that overtook his face, but he couldn’t quite help it, not when Ashton was smiling back at him—and Ashton’s joy was always contagious. “Deal.”

–

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to balance school and work?” Anne Marie asked Ashton, standing at the stove, her three children seated at the table.

“Yes, Mum,” Ashton said, rolling his eyes a little. Harry giggled from across the table at him.

Anne Marie turned around, one hand on her hip, eyes zeroed in on Harry immediately. “Is Ashton making faces behind my back?”

Every single time, Ashton really expected his brother to side with him, but he just laughed and nodded to their mum. Anne Marie gave Ashton a stern look, waving her spatula at him warningly, but didn’t say anything. Truth be told, she was worried about him. Taking a job just as he was about to start a new term at school, not to mention that he’d gotten himself a boyfriend ( _Luke Hemmings!_ she thought. _Really should’ve seen that one coming._ ). His exams were coming up in November, just a little over a month away, so he was going to be a ridiculously busy teenager.

“Thanks,” Ashton said, reaching across the table and poking Harry’s hand, but Anne Marie just kept going.

“I just don’t want you to neglect your studies. I’m sure you and Luke have plenty of ways to waste time,” she said, giving him a knowing look (Ashton grimaced), “but you’ll need to keep your grades up if you want to get into university, young man.” The last five words of the sentence were much harsher than the first, because when she turned back around, Ashton wasn’t even listening to her. “Haven’t I told you no cell phones at the table?” She turned to flip the half-cooked pancake over on the stove.

“It was Luke,” Ashton said, and Harry and Lauren both smirked at him.

“I’m sure you’ll be seeing him in barely ten seconds,” Anne Marie said, a touch of exasperation in her tone, and sure enough, there was a knock on the front door, before it just opened and Luke came in.

“Ready to go?” he asked before he even arrived in the kitchen.

“Can I eat breakfast first?” Ashton asked. Luke groaned, but took the seat next to Ashton (which Harry and Lauren had learned to leave empty for Luke, obviously). Ashton really didn’t know why he got so bothered that Ashton had breakfast with his mum and siblings every morning—Luke usually ended up getting a free meal out of it, since he invaded their kitchen daily.

“What are you up to today?” Anne Marie asked, placing a stack of pancakes on the table, then going to get an extra plate and cutlery for Luke.

“Going to the beach with Cal and Mike,” Luke said, taking a few pancakes off the communal plate without even waiting for the fork he was being handed.

“Isn’t September a bit chilly for the beach?” Anne Marie said, sipping coffee from a mug before setting about making more food for the four seated at her table.

“We’re just going to hang out,” Luke said, looking at Ashton for assistance.

“Yeah, Mum, it’s fine. We won’t be long, either, I’ve got to work later.”

Anne Marie hummed, indicating that she’d heard them. She normally would have taken the seat beside Ashton, but when Luke was over it was better to wait until he left, so she could actually sit and eat breakfast with her children as well, which is exactly what she did. She made herself a short stack, knowing the kids would eat anything she didn’t want, and gave both Luke and Ashton a kiss goodbye as they left the table. Ashton hastily put both of their dirty plates in the sink, and then as quick as blinking, they were out the door. _Teenagers_.

“Once you get your own car, life is going to be so much easier,” Luke said, tips of his feet dipping down over the side of the curb at the edge of Ashton’s lawn. They were waiting for Michael and Calum to pick them up.

“I’m only getting it so I can come visit you while I’m at uni,” Ashton said, looking over at Luke, whose face tightened up when Ashton mentioned leaving.

“Right, I know that. I just meant...when you’re back here, on weekends, we can do stuff together whenever we want. No rides from anyone else, no...parent chaperones.” Luke looked up at Ashton, really hoping he’d saved the conversation from going down a path he did _not_ want it to.

But Ashton just smiled at him. “Definitely,” he said, grinning. He saw Michael’s car turn onto their block down the street, but he had one more thing he wanted to say to Luke before they got into the car with their friends. “It sucks that I’m leaving so soon.” Luke nodded, not sure where he was going with this—because yeah, he knew that. It was the entire point. “But you’re my best friend and my boyfriend, and you’re really important to me. Just don’t forget that when I go to Newcastle.”

The car pulled up in front of them, idling, but Luke ignored the occupants in favor of leaning up to kiss Ashton right on the mouth. They could hear Michael and Calum’s joking, exaggerated groans of disgust through the car windows.

–

Ashton honestly had no idea how he was expected to sit for exams when it was fucking gorgeous outside. The weather lately had been cool but sunny, the perfect kind of day to wear a hoodie and spend all possible time outside—and yet there he was, sitting his exams. He wasn’t worried—to the contrary, he felt confident. He’d studied ridiculously hard for these exams: every spare moment he had not with Luke or working at KFC, was spent with Calum, going over coursework and memorizing everything he possibly could. Once the two of them found out their results in December, only weeks away, the apartment search would begin.

He was beyond excited, but he could tell Luke still wasn’t entirely on board with Ashton leaving. Every time he or Calum mentioned Newcastle in any way, shape, or form, Luke would clam up, remaining silent until he came out with a poorly-timed, very unfunny joke, which Ashton chalked up to nervousness, but made him seem bitter and unhappy.

Ashton thought, maybe, spending some time just the two of them, focusing on each other and forgetting all about the real world and responsibilities would do them a world of good.

 _Luke._ Ashton had texted him, the minute he got home from his last exam.

 _Hey_ came his instantaneous reply. Ashton smiled; neither of them had anything to worry about. They were crazy about each other, always making time for one another. Ashton’s going to uni would probably just make their relationship stronger.

_I took tomorrow night off of work. Can we go out and do something?_

There was a long enough pause that Ashton actually had time to put his phone away, walk into the kitchen, grab an apple out of the fridge, and return back to the living room couch, and when he checked his phone, Luke still hadn’t replied. He took a bite of the apple, the skin snapping against his teeth; he chewed slowly until his phone vibrated again.

_Why don’t you come over here? I’m gonna have the house to myself_

Ashton quirked an eyebrow. _How come?_

_Mum and dad are going to visit ben at his new apartment so they’ll be gone for a while. And i don’t know where jack will be but he never comes home on weekends anymore. So just me and you_

Ashton lifted the apple to his mouth, sinking his teeth into it but not taking a bite, and instead just holding it there as he replied to Luke’s text. _Sounds good to me. Let’s order a pizza too. It’ll be like a date just in your house._ He hit send before realizing how cheesy that actually sounded, but Luke’s reply made him stop being embarrassed.

_Perfect :)_

–

“I ordered the pizza a little while ago,” Luke said, opening the front door and stepping onto the porch; he’d seen Ashton crossing the street toward his house and beat him to the door.

“Awesome. I brought over some movies,” he said, holding a few cases out to him. Luke took them but didn’t look at the titles; he didn’t quite meet Ashton’s eyes as he let him into the house, either.

“We can stay in here for now, if you want,” Luke said, leading Ashton into the den, where a large, well-worn, comfortable couch was. He placed the movies on the TV stand and stood, awkwardly, beside Ashton for a moment.

“Well, I’m going to sit down,” Ashton said, looking at Luke, eyes narrowed a bit—the way he looked at something when he wanted to understand it better. 

“Sure, ‘course,” Luke said, picking up the movies Ashton had brought again and choosing one at random, opening the case and putting it in the DVD player.

“Luke,” Ashton said, watching him from where he’d chosen to sit on the couch. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Luke said, too quickly for it to be true, and Ashton’s eyes narrowed, if possible, even further. “I’m _fine_ ,” he insisted.

Ashton took a deep breath through his nose, then reached for the DVD controller and hit play—he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t ecstatic that Luke had chosen Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, even though they’d both seen it a ton of times. The familiar music _ting_ ed out of the TV, and Luke settled himself down next to Ashton, who immediately put an arm around him. Luke leaned into him just a little, letting his hand rest on Ashton’s thigh.

They sat still, watching the movie in silence for a short while, until Luke turned to look at Ashton. “Do you really want to watch this?” he asked.

Ashton turned to look back at him. “I’m assuming you have something better in mind?” he asked, poking fun, then ducking down to kiss Luke’s neck, but also to tickle his sides at the same time.

“You asshole!” Luke nearly shouted, unable to keep himself from laughing, or to stop Ashton from tickling him—not that he was really putting up much of a fight, because whenever Ashton did this, he ended up on top of Luke, which is kind of exactly what Luke wanted to happen.

Ashton was straddling his thighs, kneeling over Luke and tickling his ribs, until he laid off just enough for Luke to hook both arms around Ashton’s neck, yanking him down into a kiss. Ashton hummed softly in pleasure, parting his lips right away and kissing Luke just a bit deeper, lowering himself down so their fronts were together. Luke kept his eyes squeezed shut tight, kissing Ashton just by what felt right, and Luke smiled a little as Ashton’s hands moved down to his sides, tugging his shirt up just a little—and then the doorbell rang.

Luke groaned, and Ashton tucked his face into the crook of Luke’s neck and shoulder, sighing, his breath warm against Luke’s skin; Luke shivered a little at that, and because Ashton moved off of him all at once.

“Want me to grab that?” Ashton said, but Luke shimmied sideways off the couch and stood up, fixing his shirt and the back of his hair.

“Nah, it’s cool. If you want to grab some plates and shit from the kitchen,” he said as he walked back into the foyer. Ashton heard the door open and the two of them conversing as he passed behind Luke, into the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, he examined the contents before pulling out a couple cans of soda for the two of them to drink, and then grabbing plates, as well as the roll of paper towels Liz had out on the counter—easier than napkins.

They arrived back in the den at the same time, Luke holding the cardboard box, Ashton with the cans tucked under one arm, the paper towels under the other, and the plates in one hand.

“Prepared,” Luke said, laughing a little at his boyfriend, rounding the coffee table and putting the pizza right on it, sitting down as he opened the box.

“Always,” Ashton said, sitting beside him. He placed one of the cans in front of Luke, then handed him a plate and ripped a couple paper towels off the roll for him.

“Oh, thank you,” Luke said—he seemed a bit more like his regular self, Ashton thought, which was good.

“No problem,” Ashton said, leaning in to kiss Luke as he was choosing a slice of pizza; he just got him on the corner of his mouth, but Luke laughed, which was also a good thing.

They ate in silence, watching the movie, their knees bumping into each other’s every now and then, which always resulted in the two of them sharing secret smiles, only catching the other one’s lips curled up out of the corner of his eye.

More than half the pie was missing by the time they finished—they’d eaten a combined three slices, which really meant they’d each had two, and then Luke’s eyes had been bigger than his stomach and he went for a third...which he was unable to finish, so Ashton ate the last third of the slice.

“Now what?” Luke asked, leaning into the back of the couch, one hand on his stomach.

“The movie’s still on,” Ashton said, leaning back as well, but turned a little toward Luke, so he could watch him, too.

“I don’t really want to watch Harry Potter.” Luke turned to Ashton, smirking. “Sorry.”

“You’re not sorry,” Ashton said, chuckling a little, reaching out to pinch Luke’s side. He halfheartedly batted Ashton’s hand away, then changed his mind and grabbed it.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he said, so suddenly that Ashton was thrown off, just a bit, but his apprehension quickly turned into excitement at the prospect.

“All right,” he said, pushing himself up from the couch, Luke following close behind him, still not letting go of his hand, except he did step in front of Ashton to lead him up to his room. It looked exactly the same as it always did, so Ashton wasn’t sure what he was expecting, although he did feel like there was a definite reason that Luke wanted them to come up here, instead of staying downstairs.

Before Ashton even had a chance to ask, Luke had turned to face him, leaning in close and kissing him right away. Ashton smiled against his mouth, their fronts meeting together as Ashton stepped closer, hands moving to Luke’s lower back to hold him.

Luke forced himself to keep calm, not wanting to rush things—he really wanted to take his time tonight, but he wasn’t sure how long he could keep that up. They had the house to themselves for the rest of the night, and Ashton was the only thing that required his attention right now. He moved his hands to Ashton’s sides, fingers squeezing him a little, as he parted his lips for Ash, his tongue moving against Luke’s. Luke made a small, pleased noise in his throat, and then a louder one when Ashton moved down from his lips to his neck. Luke laughed a little—it tickled—but he angled his head to the side for Ashton anyway.

As Ashton kissed him, he lowered his hands just a touch to Luke’s ass, which made Luke whimper and press his hips forward, wanting more. “Wait,” Ashton mumbled. “Soon.”

Luke just nodded, but rolled his hips forward into Ashton’s again, causing him to bite back a moan. “Shit, ok,” Ashton said, not really wanting to take it slow if Luke was going to be so eager. He stepped back, leaving space between them, and pulled his shirt off. Luke did the same, not bothering to try and kiss Ashton again but instead moving over to his bed—that was where he wanted to be, because he had a plan and he was going to stick to it.

He had been ready, he thought, to actually sleep with Ashton for a while now—since maybe a few weeks after they first got together—but they never had the chance. Now, not only was he ready, and they had the opportunity. “Ash,” Luke said, the backs of his legs against the edge of his mattress.

“Hm,” Ashton said; he was trying to untie his sneakers while balancing on one foot.

“You know how we talked about...uh, sex,” Luke said, blurting it out, just getting it in the open, because he didn’t know how else to say it that was any less awkward than being direct.

Ashton looked up at him, nearly losing his balance, and lowered his foot back to the ground; once he was steady on his feet again, he met Luke’s eyes again. “Yeah.”

“I think we should do it,” Luke said. “Tonight. Now.”

Ashton’s eyes widened a fraction, but he nodded after a moment—then grinned. He couldn’t help it; just the prospect was fucking exciting. “Yeah, ok,” he said, enthused.

Luke grinned too, just as wide, and continued taking off his clothes, hands moving to unbutton his jeans.

“Wait,” Ashton said, stepping closer. “Let me.” He curled one arm around Luke’s waist, holding them together again, and kissing Luke slow and deep. It made the white hot coil of longing flare to life in Luke’s chest, and he moved his hands to Ashton’s arms, holding him tight. Ashton broke the kiss, but kept his face close to Luke’s, nose brushing his as he looked down between their bodies. Slowly, he popped the button on Luke’s jeans and dragged the zipper down, fitting his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and underwear, pushing them down as quickly as he could. Luke helped him out a little, because skinny jeans were never any fun to deal with; shortly after, he was stepping out of them, completely naked, and Ashton was looking at him like Luke was the most magnificent thing he’d ever seen.

Their lips met again in another slow, languorous kiss, but this time Ashton undid his own jeans. Luke helped him out of his as well, and once they were both bare, they aligned their bodies, still-soft cocks moving together, both boys moaning softly at the feeling. It was the most intimate way they’d ever touched in the five months since they got together, and it felt both overwhelming and perfect. The head of Luke’s cock dragged over Ashton’s, and then his thigh, and both of them took deep, desperate breaths at nearly the same moment, before Ashton moved his hands to Luke’s hips and pushed him slowly backwards.

Ashton moved them over the bed, both of them climbing onto it and trying not to let their lips separate—unfortunately, neither of them was quite graceful enough to manage it. Luke’s chin bumped into Ashton’s mouth, and they both laughed, arranging themselves on the bed, Luke propping himself up on his elbows, Ashton kneeling beside him.

“Do you have lube?” Ashton whispered, and Luke nodded. He pointed to the top drawer of his dresser, and Ashton climbed off the bed to retrieve it. It took some digging, but finally he was back at Luke’s side, the small bottle and a condom in his hand.

“Um, ok, so, I’ll do it?” Ashton asked, hesitant. He had fingered Luke only a couple of times before, and admittedly he still wasn’t 100% used to it, but he wanted to be, because Luke seemed to fucking love it. He could come with just two fingers inside of him—Ashton couldn’t even imagine how it would feel when he was inside of him.

“Yeah,” Luke said, rolling onto his side, so that in another moment, he could get on all fours for Ashton.

“Ok,” Ashton said absently, opening the cap of the lube.

Luke almost resisted speaking, but couldn’t—an amazing notion had just popped into his head. “Now even if you don’t get into Newcastle, we’ll definitely stay together,” he said.

Ashton paused, no part of him moving except his head, which he turned to look at Luke. “What?” he asked. “What are you talking about?” Ashton looked at him, disbelieving and a little angry, if he was understanding correctly.

“I just—now that we, that we’re going to...sex, I mean.” Luke realized saying it out loud was probably a mistake.

“Luke, that has nothing to do with whether or not we would stay together.” Ashton closed the cap of the lube. Luke nearly flinched at the sound. Definitely a mistake.

“No, I know, I just thought—I thought that maybe, just, it would show you...how much you mean to me? God, this is so fucking sad,” he said, laughing a little, humorlessly. “You’re really important to me, too, and I...wanted you to know that.”

“Luke.” Ashton said, voice a bit softer now. He waited until Luke’s eyes were on his again before continuing. “I did know that. I always knew that. If I got in to Newcastle and left for uni, we wouldn’t have just automatically broken up if we hadn’t slept together.”

“No, I know, I just thought—I thought this would help. Like...if maybe you chose to stay here…”

“But I’m not staying here, Luke,” Ashton said, frowning again. “Look, I know it’s weird that I’m leaving, because we’ve been together our entire lives, but me going away to uni doesn’t mean anything for us. I want to be with you, so I will be. Because—” He stopped himself abruptly.

But Luke needed to know what Ashton was going to say. Desperately. Because it seemed to him, a 16-year-old with more hormones and emotions than he knew what to do with, that this was life or death. “Because…?”

“Because I love you,” Ashton said, looking like he surprised even himself. But once the words were out in the open, he couldn’t help the grin that slowly spread across his face, all irritation or unease forgotten, at least on his part. “I love you.”

Luke had no idea how to react, but the feeling in his chest felt like it had been amplified by about a thousand, and he pushed himself up so he was sitting beside Ashton, who was still kneeling.

“Ash,” Luke said, a statement that sounded more like a question.

“Luke,” Ashton said again, shaking his head and putting the lube down, shifting his weight closer to Luke, needing some part of their bodies to be in contact. “I love you. Not...that it will make things any easier, but.”

“I love you,” Luke said, almost like he was trying it out before committing to it for real. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah,” Ashton said, fully aware of how now was really the worst moment to have a deep conversation, and yet somehow, the best moment too.

“I didn’t...mean what I said like it sounded. I swear. I was just...I was worried you’d go to uni and then, like, have so much fun with Calum or meet someone else or just stop caring and we’d be over, and that really sucks because you’re out on your own and I’m stuck here because I’m a year younger. I just didn’t want you to leave me behind.”

“You’re an idiot,” Ashton said, voice full of genuine affection. “That would never happen. Dude—I got a job at fucking KFC so I could buy a car _just_ to come see you. Do you really think I’d do that for just anyone?”

Luke bit his lip, looking up at the ceiling; he wasn’t crying, and he wouldn’t cry, because there was nothing romantic about fried chicken and that was the end of that. “No.” He cleared his throat of the lump that began forming there. Because there _was_ something romantic about Ashton getting a shitty job just to buy a car so he could visit Luke at home. _Damn it_.

“Exactly,” Ashton said, lifting one hand to the side of Luke’s neck, kissing him again, slowly, and Luke kissed him back, needy.

“Roll over,” Ashton instructed after a few more moments, and Luke reluctantly pulled away and moved onto his knees and elbows. Ashton moved over behind him, unable to miss how pink Luke’s face had gotten. “Ok?” Ashton asked, and Luke nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, pretending he didn’t feel self-conscious.

“Ok,” Ashton repeated the word, this time as a statement, and opened the lube again, squeezing some onto his fingers. Luke spread his knees just a little for Ashton, opening himself up as much as he could, and Ashton gently began to rub his index finger over Luke’s hole. Luke whimpered right away, but he didn’t move, other than to shift his balance onto one arm and wrap his free hand around his dick.

Ashton took his time; even though Luke liked this, he had to work up to it slowly, rubbing against his rim firmly but without too much pressure or fervor. It helped Luke to have a hand on his dick, too, keeping him from tensing up.

Before much longer, Ashton was able to angle the tip of his forefinger inside of Luke, the lube slicking him up as Ashton moved his finger in, slowly, inch by inch, until it was fully inside of Luke. Slowly, he dragged it back out, then moved it in, repeating the motions until he felt comfortable adding a second one.

“Do you think two will be enough?” Luke asked, voice thick and tight, half-smothered from his pillow.

“I think three,” Ashton answered, glancing down his front at his dick in comparison to his fingers.

“Three,” Luke whispered, moaning, curling the hand still on the bed into the bedsheets.

“Are you ready for two?” Ashton asked, because he always asked, even when he could tell Luke was ready for more by how he pushed his ass back against Ashton’s hand.

“Yeah,” Luke said, nodding a little, squeezing his dick in his hand, as Ashton added just a little more lube. Luke bit his lip and whimpered when Ashton slid two fingers into his hole.

“You’re so tight, Luke,” Ashton said, not to be lewd but because it never ceased to surprise him.

“Yeah,” Luke moaned, squeezing down on Ashton’s fingers, drawing a moan from him as well.

“Can I keep going?” Ashton asked.

Luke only nodded in response, his hair mussed from being against the pillow. Ashton parted his fingers inside of Luke just a touch, barely enough to stretch him that much, but Luke still moaned. This was the furthest that they’d ever gone, and the thought that he was going to have another finger and then Ashton inside of him...Luke literally could not fucking wait.

Each time Ashton scissored his fingers open, Luke moaned a bit louder, the volume proportional to how stretched he was. It was a lengthy process, mostly because the last thing Ashton wanted to do was hurt Luke, but after a few minutes of prepping him, Luke spoke: “Try three.”

Ashton paused, though his fingers were spread apart so he was holding Luke open just a little. “Really?”

“Really,” Luke gasped out, breathless. “I’ll tell you if I can’t take it.” He meant it, but he still desperately wanted three in him.

“Ok, one sec,” Ashton said, slowly, carefully, slipping his fingers out of Luke, who whined at their absence. Ashton coated his fore-, middle, and ring fingers with more lube, then pushed them into Luke, who exhaled loudly, his voice seemingly no longer under his control for the moment.

“Oh my god,” he said, once, twice, before pushing his face into his pillow.

“Too much?” Ashton asked, ready to stop fingering him, and truth be told, stop altogether if Luke wanted to.

“ _No_ ,” Luke answered. “It feels _good_.”

Ashton took that as his cue: he pushed his fingers further into Luke, slowly, making sure to stretch him as best he could to be absolutely certain that he was ready to take Ashton’s dick. Three fingers was one thing, but…

“I think I’m ready,” Luke murmured after letting Ashton take his time prepping him, working his fingers in and out, adding more lube when he deemed it necessary, but finally Luke felt it was now or never.

“Yeah?” Ashton said, just checking to be sure he meant it.

“Yes,” Luke said, firmly—he wanted Ashton, now.

“All right,” Ashton said, moving his free hand to Luke’s hip, holding him steady as he pulled his fingers out.

“Shit,” Luke said, closing his eyes. “Feels so empty.”

Ashton felt his entire body shudder with arousal, with the urge to move back into Luke as quickly as he could, even though he knew he had to go slow, at least at first.

He rolled the condom on as quickly as he dared, slathering on a bit more lube just to be safe, and then stood on his knees behind Luke, whose legs were still spread wide for Ashton. His hand was on his dick, loosely wrapped around it, and Ashton imitated him, except he held it a bit tighter, more steady.

“Ok,” Ashton said. “I’m gonna—” He trailed off, inching closer to Luke, shuffling forward on his knees, until he was able to press the tip of his cock against his hole.

“Oh, fuck,” Luke said, preemptively, but he looked back over his shoulder at Ashton and winked. He fucking winked, the little shit.

Ashton gripped Luke’s hip tightly with his left hand and used his right to guide the head of his dick into Luke. He slipped in a bit easier than he expected to, and his own moan was drowned out by Luke’s.

“ _Ash_ ,” he said, loudly, and Ashton echoed him with his own groan of Luke’s name.

It took some time for Ashton to fully seat himself in Luke, but once he was in, he was pretty sure that he never had and never would feel anything as amazing ever again, which was a pretty strange thought, he’d admit, but still true.

Gingerly, Ashton pulled his hips back a few inches, then moved forward again, into Luke, who actually clamped his hand over his own mouth to keep his voice down. No one was home, he knew, but it was just habit.

“Still ok?” Ashton asked, completely breathless, and Luke didn’t answer other than to nod his head in very passionate agreement. “Ok,” Ashton said, mostly to himself, as he began to work his hips back and forth, moving slowly at first, then very, very gradually picking up slight speed. He couldn’t move fast, nor did he want to, because he wanted this to last a bit longer, and he wanted to make sure Luke felt ok too.

“That’s good,” Luke said after a moment, pushing back against the front of Ashton’s hips to show he liked it. He’d begun moving his hand over his dick, which in turn made his ass tighten down on Ashton’s cock. Both of them were probably stupidly close.

Ashton held both of Luke’s hips in his hands, fingertips pressing tight to the skin, as he moved in and out of him. He knew he was close, he wouldn’t last much longer—

But then Ashton’s cock moved over this _spot_ inside of Luke, and his entire being seemed to come into a singularity and explode, painting white all over the sheets below him, his mouth open but only small, unintelligible noises falling from his lips, eyes tight shut. Ashton followed him just after—Luke was impossibly tight around him, not loosening up until his own orgasm had passed, but by then Ashton was coming too, his entire body trembling with the force and bliss of it.

“Fuck, fuck, oh my god,” Ashton was saying, not even aware of it, and Luke turned his head to look up at Ashton.

“Ash, could—” he swallowed, thickly. “Could you pull out?”

It took Ashton another moment to come back to himself, but once he did, he held Luke’s hips, much gentler than he had been, and moved out of him. He pulled the condom from his cock, tying it off and tossing it into the wastebin beside Luke’s bed, then flopped down beside him. Luke rolled over to face him, slowly, still sore and entirely tired.

“Hey,” Luke whispered, holding Ashton’s gaze, even as he curled his legs up between them, lying in the fetal position. He slipped one of his knees between Ashton’s.

“Hey,” Ashton answered, letting his eyes close after a moment. He felt Luke’s lips on his; he kissed him back.

“Love you,” Luke mumbled against his mouth.

“Love you,” Ashton said back.

–

“How are you taking this?” Michael asked, arms crossed. He was standing with Luke in his driveway, watching Ashton pack up his car with all the shit he’d need for uni.

“I’m fine,” Luke said. It was brisk for March, but Luke was wearing a hoodie Ashton had gotten for him, that said _University of Newcastle_ in large, block letters.

“Yeah?” Michael lowered his arms and turned to face Luke, who looked calm, even though his face was mostly hidden by the hood of the sweatshirt.

“Yeah,” Luke affirmed, smiling as Ashton slammed the trunk of the car, then glanced over at where he and Michael were standing.

Ashton waved, then jogged across the street. “How long’ve you two been standing there?” he asked. “More importantly, why didn’t you come help?” He laughed.

Luke shrugged, but smirked. “Because I don’t want to condone this kind of behavior. Leaving me to go to uni? Deplorable.”

It was the kind of joke that Luke would have made a few months ago and Ashton might have taken seriously—now, he knew Luke was joking.

“Your exams are this year,” he said. “Don’t fuck up and you can come live with me. I’ll kick Calum right out on the street.”

Beside them, Michael was making gagging noises, pretending to vomit, but they ignored him. Ashton leaned in to kiss Luke, innocently at first, but slowly growing into deeper, real kisses, until Anne Marie called to Ashton from across the street.

“Ashton Fletcher!” she shouted. “You told Calum that you would be at his twenty minutes ago!”

Ashton pulled away from Luke, sheepish, and tugged on one of the strings from his hoodie.

“I’ll call you when we get there,” he said. Luke nodded. A final kiss between them, and Ashton returned back across the street to give his mum a hug and kiss goodbye.

The three of them watched Ashton start the car and drive down the street, heading to pick up Calum and all his shit, so they could move into their apartment.

“You sure you’re good?” Michael asked, and Luke suppressed his eyeroll. He really was grateful to have such a good friend around while his boyfriend was gone.

“Yeah.”

A moment later, Luke felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and, shielding the screen from Michael, checked the text message. It was from Ashton.

_Love you. See you soon._

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [maybeillfindyouhere](http://maybeillfindyouhere.tumblr.com) • Come say hi!
> 
> _Title from "Sea Green, See Blue" by Jaymay._


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